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by Espoirose



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: I don't know, M/M, Snakes, So Be Warned About That, also i barely scratched 1000 words WOO, also i didn't have beta readers, also snakes, if i make mistakes i'm sorry, in fact this opens up with a snake, it's nothing explicit or obvious or anything, okay what do i tag this, there's a snake in here, unwanted asshole warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 09:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20207161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Espoirose/pseuds/Espoirose
Summary: Gabriel decides to visit Aziraphale's bookshop just as Crowley is there too, and so Aziraphale does his best to entertain the archangel as his husband hides in his store.





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**Author's Note:**

> God what the hell it's 3 am sharp and I'm tired I'm sorry
> 
> Anyhow, a Good Omens fic, starring 2 bastards and one(1) snake. I'd say Crowley is a bastard too but he's already a snake in here so you know

“...Where did you get that snake from?” Gabriel, still clutching a rather thick book, pointing to the floor near the entrance to the Aziraphale’s bookshop, and there lay the aforementioned snake, who looks like it would rather be elsewhere. It stared at the archangel blankly.

“Oh, yes, well-” Aziraphale sputtered, quickly turning away from it. “It might have belonged to a customer that was just here. Maybe they’ll still here, checking out the books and planning to pick their pet up before they leave.”

_ ...Good job, Aziraphale. _

“Ghastly thing, why don’t you just... throw it out? Does it not disgust you?” Gabriel continued.

“..Even if it does, why should I?” He raised an eyebrow. “Like I said, it might belong to a customer, and I really shouldn’t try to tamper with others’ belongings. Especially a human’s things.”

“...Right. Well, Aziraphale…” As Gabriel continued to speak, Aziraphale quietly looks to the snake on the floor, mouthing the word, _ Leave. _

The snake raised its head and shook it vigorously, almost rejecting what the angel said, and it slithered further into the store, to the back room.

Aziraphale inhaled sharply as he anxiously watched the snake, as he watched _ Crowley _go further in, he turned his attention back to Gabriel.

“...Shall we discuss this in a more… private room, like my last purchase?”

Aziraphale forced a smile and gestured Gabriel toward the back room, following him right after.

Crowley, meanwhile, slithered all the way to the back of the room, squeezing himself into a corner as he wrapped his form around a nearby pile of books and managing to find a spot where he can still look out. _ As long as Gabriel doesn’t go near them, he should be fine. _

“So, what brings you here? Last time you were here, you--”

“...I was here last with Sandalphon to check up on the Antichrist, and my intentions haven’t changed.” Gabriel interjected, putting the book down on a nearby table. “The higher-ups asked me to, just to make absolutely sure everything goes according to the Great Plan. Can’t be too cautious now, can we?”

...Aziraphale could’ve sworn he heard a faint ‘hiss’ coming from somewhere.

“...Right, of course.” He hastily agrees, his eyes darting around the room, as though he was looking for something in particular. “But, um, nothing’s really changed since. The Antichrist is growing up fine, he’s already gotten his dog, his hellhound and,” He paused. “...and I believe that you were supposed to see to it that the four horsemen were…”

“Yes, that much has been taken care of, even if it’s not directly my business.” Gabriel glanced off to the side. “So, yes, there’s aren’t any problems there.”

“Then there’s really no need for such a visit, but,” Aziraphale clasps his hands together, a pleasant smile on his face. “It really was nice of you to come by.” The angel was just about ready to escort Gabriel out when...

“Well, there’s also one more thing I needed to check with you, Aziraphale.”

Silence filled the room right after he said that.

“And… what might that be?”

“This was brought up prior to my visit, actually, we’ve seen you around that... demon for quite a while now. Might there be anything that’s happening between the two of you? Should there be any form of collaboration of some sort between you two, you have to understand that there’ll be consequences.”

_ ...If Aziraphale could swear, he would do so right this moment. _The smile he wore was a bit strained now, like underneath it, he was doing his utmost best to hide the panic that Gabriel was causing him. “No, not at all! We’re simply… what do you call it… We’re simply engaging in what humans call a passionate… rivalry. Yes. It’s also just how… throughout the ages, we’ve bumped into each other more often than not, and I’ve done nothing but disregard his advances during those encounters.”

_ Status report on the snake: It would absolutely like to be somewhere else right now, just as it has for the past few minutes. _

Gabriel has an eyebrow raised as he silently processed what Aziraphale had just said, and after all that he simply answers, “...Very well, then. Be grateful that I still hold some form of trust in your role as an angel.”

Aziraphale exhaled a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“I’ll be reporting in once more about all this, just to assure the higher-ups that everything is going according to plan, and we can be certain that we'll have our war soon enough.” Gabriel strode right through the door, and out of the store.

After a few moments, Aziraphale relaxed himself, taking a deep breath. “You can come out now, Crowley.” He called.

He turned around just as the snake slithered out into view, transforming itself back to his demon form. _ It’s more human than demon, anyway. _

“Oh, finally, it was getting cramped, trying to fit myself between the things you keep in here.” Crowley grumbled as he pats himself off.

“It wasn’t too bad now, was it?” Aziraphale gave him a sympathetic smile. “But really, I did tell you to leave the store, but it was your decision to move back here.”

“Gabriel was standing right by the door, angel, he was bound to see me at some point had I tried to leave through it.” Crowley waves dismissively.

“But we made it through alright. I just wish he’d at least made the effort to bid me goodbye, even if it’s just to be polite.”

“To him, you just weren’t worth it. _ That _ really shows the sort of trust he has for you.”

“I believe it’s more a matter of respect, dear--”

“Then he just doesn’t care.”

“Crowley!”

“It’s true,” He scoffs. “Not to mention his visit gets me uneasy on having dinner with you tonight.”

“Were you planning on it?”

“_ Was._ At the Ritz, of course. As usual.”

“...That’s unfortunate.” Aziraphale looked a bit down at this.

“...You’re telling me.”


End file.
